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Gears of War Review
Posted: 16/11/06 by Venom | Comments (29)

Iím a man of refined taste. I only love the highest quality frozen pizzas, the finest Cambodian breast milk, the free-est of the free internet porn, Tyson Chicken Tenders, porn, cursing, cursing porn, shooting things, shooting things while cursing and of course, chainsaws to the face. And porn. What if there was a video game that combined all those things? Iíd give it 32 stars. 234%. A++++++++++++. 8 thumbs up.

Gears of War from Epic Games (and Microsoft Games) for the X-Box 360 only has 4 of those things, but Iím going to go ahead and review it for you anyway. Iím a giver. Itís what I do. Now put your reading glasses on, start drinking, and take your hands out of your pants. No one wanks to my reviews but me. And this one is special; itís CGís first Next Gen review. We might be in for a lot of wanking. Donít worry, Iíve got lots of electrolytes on standby to keep me going.

   
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 gaming articles
Sins of a Solar Empire
Funko conquers the galaxy with the latest space based RTS

Call of Duty 4 - Modern Warfare
Lazarus and the Gimp takes on the modern world in this first person shooter

Forza Motorsport 2 Review
King_Ghidra gets to grips with the X-Box 360's answer to Gran Turismo

Galactic Civilizations 2: Dread Lords
Is this the best space-sim TBS ever? Chris Stavros (yes him again!) ventures forth to find out

Civilization IV
Chris Stavros pillages his way through Sid Meier's latest magnus opus.

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